Having kids is hard

Yes. Having kids is hard. I have always wanted to be a mother. In fact, when I was in kindergarten, there was a survey done of our class, and everyone was asked what they wanted to be when they grew up. I was the only one who said I wanted to be a mom.
But I think that, no matter what, having kids is hard. Whether it's the conception, the pregnancy, the birth, or the baby, having kids is hard. I don't think that I know a single woman who has had a blissful experience with all of those parts. For me, the hardest part is getting pregnant. If you know me, you know that I have to have my kids with the help of IVF (in-vitro fertilization). We have been EXTREMELY lucky to have a child with both of the previous IVF cycles we've done.
But we are not quite as lucky with this one. I had the most medicine that could be fathomed to put in the shots. I had shots every night, and blood tests and ultrasounds nearly every day as well. We felt like it was all going very well! We were able to do everything in Idaho Falls, which was a huge blessing. When I had the surgery to harvest the eggs, they got 6, which I think is more than ever before! 4 of them were fertilized the next day, which was also fabulous. The doctor himself called me on the day of the transfer, and said that two of the eggs were looking really good, so we put these guys in:

The embryologist even said they had grown since the picture! Yay! Here we are on transfer day:

We were super excited, and hoping for twins! We would find out in 2 weeks. About halfway through the two weeks, I started bleeding. Because of the experience we had last time, we thought everything would still be okay. Then, closer to the day to check, I started bleeding again. This time, I was not as hopeful. So, I was supposed to go get a blood test on Monday morning, and I had an extra home pregnancy test lying around. I was still bleeding on Sunday morning, but I decided to try it out. Here's what I got:

I was reassured, but still not completely hopeful, because I know that there HAS to be a false negative pregnancy test before the collection, because of the trigger shot. But I texted my nurse, and told her what I got, and she said that I was PREGNANT! Wa-hoo! I told my family. I got it confirmed on Monday. I told my really close friends. I was excited! But I was still bleeding . . .
I called the nurse of my OBGYN. She said that I should definitely redo the test on Wednesday, and let her know what I found. I asked my fertility nurse to redo the test, and she agreed that it needed to be redone again.
I carted my kids to the clinic for the blood test AGAIN. I keep telling them that I'm done, but it never happens. Anyway, that's when the bad news came. My HcG number was dropping. Fast. I had another test done last Friday. It's almost completely gone.

So, I was pregnant for 2-3 days. I am still trying to figure out how to deal with this. I honestly do not know what we will do to try and have another child. I honestly do not know IF we will have another child. I am very sad. I am hopeful, but starting to get realistic. Sometimes those are opposites.

Fathers' Day 2017

We have the best daddy at our house! Everyone loves our daddy. He is definitely the favorite parent.

This is one of my favorite pictures lately. Chris stayed home on a Monday to build a garden for me (because we lost our apple tree, which was fabulous!) These kids wanted to go outside with their daddy. They saw that he put on his boots and his gloves, so they got their winter boots and winter gloves and went out to "help" him. They love their daddy! Basically, Davis does whatever daddy does, and Reagan does whatever Davis does, so it's a winning combination!

For Fathers' Day, these were our celebrations:

Daddy got a new Star Wars shirt (because he needed a new one. . . like a hole in the head) and a pair of work shoes, and hugs from his kids! Because Daddy likes to smoke (the primary presidency says that Davis saying announced that in Primary when learning about the Word of Wisdom--great!), we let him make us some yummy meat for Fathers' Day too! Aren't we nice?!

Yellowstone

Another thing we love to do in the summertime is go to the cabin, and go to Yellowstone!

Summertime 2017!

We love the summer!

We love playing outside--it doesn't matter if it's the sandbox, or digging up bugs, or the hammock at our friend's house. We just love outside!

We love to go to the zoo! We especially love it if we go with our best friends!

And we love to go to the circus! Because, why not? It's so fun!

We also love to go to baseball games! This year, we remembered to take swimsuits to play in the hottub! Reagan would get in the hot tub, then get out and eat a chip, then go back and wave to me on her way back into the hot tub. It was very cute!


Summers are the best!!